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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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7356 posts
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#1
03/06/2019 at 14:21

Stock up on the largers crisps lads, the World Cup is on soon.

Not the gay fest we usually suffer with the Oscars sending it’s finest to do a triple somersault with pike when an opponent comes with a yard and half of them, followed by a stretcher to carry them off with a hairline fracture of the bootlace. No this one is very different and some of the players actually look like men. Nor with Ingerland falling at the knockout hurdle to a country that probably wasn’t a country 10years ago.

It’s the Women’s World Cup, held, er somewhere. And we might just win it. The master schemer, Philippooo N’eville is the proud man in charge drawing on all his experience no doubt, so ridiculous penalties in injury time and generally inept performances might still be on offer.

It promises to be a ripper and extra points are added for those who can get the ball in the air from a corner and heading it without closing their eyes. Talk of equal pay with the men is right up there as these gals play to packed out stadiums week in week out and certainly its justified if they surpass the boys of 66. They even have their own form of racism with some player from Sheffield getting banned for life for bad mouthing a fellow pro, so to speak. Still, at least some chap can get his tea on a Saturday now. Where is Mrs. (Or is it Mr.?) Campbell now eh?

Best of all, the box set will be out well in time for Xmas.

On the other hand, Love Island never looked so appealing. WineTalcHandbagBinBalls

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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theotherphantom

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#2
03/06/2019 at 14:32

France. 

>>>>> 12th season in exile <<<<< 

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essexgull

8980 posts
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#3
03/06/2019 at 17:40

Blessed be the fruit, Cheats old bean.



ESSEX GULL 

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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7356 posts
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#4
04/06/2019 at 00:15

Who’s a fruit?

On a more sober note, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again in case any of the 4,000 regulars on here didn’t get it. Ok, let them have their fun, nothing wrong with it at all, but prime time telly and slick adverts? FFS. If anyone wants a proper giggle get a clip of the women’s cricket World Cup where they missed the run out. England game I think.

That said, not half as funny as Harold Harry Kane stealing someone’s shirt and masquerading as a striker in the clubs most important game ever. Shades of Becks and Ericson there.

Talking of Becks (ish), when do the Spice Girls play at the KC then? 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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TedLloyd

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#5
04/06/2019 at 09:34

Well for the World Cup Final in Russia we got a Pussy Riot pitch invasion and for the Champions League Final in Madrid we got a Russian Porn Star. To even things up the French blokes will be planning a full monty gilet jaunes protest for the womens final, beware!

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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#6
07/06/2019 at 22:47

WTF happened in Portugal?

Only seen the goals but by all accounts, England were shite. Has the Gareth bubble burst?

At least we retained a bit of form before the game with a few arrests and even the next Prime Minister getting in on the act. Sterling stuff, so to speak. 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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NationalTiger

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#7
08/06/2019 at 08:42

Turns out we can't pass, or have a Modric-type player to control the midfield.

And we were young and tired.

How come Holland weren't young and tired? 

Now then... 

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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#8
08/06/2019 at 10:10

Big Sam. That’s the answer. He won every England game he managed. Get Pardew, Pulis and Jermaine Jeans in as coaching staff and make Wilshere captain.

He picked Delph. What could possibly have gone wrong?

Pro footballers being tired is the worst excuse. 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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newlandcasual

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1001 posts
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#9
09/06/2019 at 14:08

Used to watch the womens footie in previous major tournaments but after that me too stuff when more women then men presenters ended up being on football focus last season i shall now be boycotting said event.

Ps. i don't mind if there up to the job but the likes of Aluko certainly wasn't. 

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essexgull

8980 posts
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#10
10/06/2019 at 09:59

Viewing figures of over 5 million for England v Scotland.

If believed, it indicates that there is huge public interest in showing the games, irrespective of what the dinosaur, Cheats old bean, thinks. Clearly being out of England so long now has resulted in a cultural arrested development and his views are effectively a nostalgic time capsule stored in his head, completely out of synchronisation with the UK now.


ESSEX GULL  

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KingstonKid

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#11
10/06/2019 at 11:43

To add insult to injury and us feeling tired, they gave us our 3rd spot medals in a carrier bag?!
Sort it out yourselves?
Some lovely hair cuts on show though.
Anyone recommend a good Turkish barber for me?
I have standards and enjoy a piece of turkish delight washed down with a large glass of reiki.

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I'm an alligator...

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#12
10/06/2019 at 13:55

5 million viewing?

That'll be the whole of Scotland (not counting the million that live in, yet hate, England) hoping for any win, at anything, over their nemeses...



1964 - 2014 

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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#13
11/06/2019 at 00:23

Quote Quote by essexgull on 10/06/2019 at 09:59
Viewing figures of over 5 million for England v Scotland.

If believed, it indicates that there is huge public interest in showing the games, irrespective of what the dinosaur, Cheats old bean, thinks. Clearly being out of England so long now has resulted in a cultural arrested development and his views are effectively a nostalgic time capsule stored in his head, completely out of synchronisation with the UK now.


ESSEX GULL


Not sure what your point is here Gully.

Firstly, 5 million - was that by the Allam method? In which case, we’ll call it 3 million. Either way, less than Corrie and Eastenders, and the audience is likely to be the same anyway.

Secondly, only 13,000 at the game. Granted, it was in deepest darkest France and if anyone ever invents EasyJet or Ryanair perhaps that might increase. That, or maybe only 13,000 are genuinely interested.

As I said, they can have their fun but it ain’t box office stuff, so no need to big it up in to something it isn’t. Someone wrote that the tv audience was bigger than the champions league final. Really. Champs final was on BT pay per view. England lasses v Scotland lasses was on prime time BBC where half the “audience” wouldn’t have switched from songs of praise or the Simpsons, whatever was on before. I also heard that a pundit had said some of the England team could hold their own in the Prem. Case closed with shit being spouted like that although to be fair, watching the goal highlights I noticed the England defender refusing to hand the ball back to Scotland after they scored, then rolled around feigning an injury, so maybe they are right and with antics like that they would fit in well with the cheating gamesmanship in the Prem.

Chuckle at Phil too with his Gareth waistcoat on FFS.

I hear the proposed women’s F1 has been abandoned as they can’t get the pits large enough to park the cars in. 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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#14
11/06/2019 at 13:33

As a point of (distant) interest, which male pundit is at the game/weigh in?

Can’t claim to be Jermaine Jeans as he is a fanny to start with. I reckon Paul Scholes would be good value, with Keane too, occasional interaction with Eddy. Fuck, need something to lighten it up.

UTLionessessessessess. 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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KingstonKid

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#15
12/06/2019 at 08:39

Don't write the Thai women off as yet.
They will have learned from that defeat and pick up during their next game.

Didn't Phil Chuckle look smart on the line the other day, credit to him. 

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karlberg

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#16
12/06/2019 at 09:04

Its cheap television. We should have the cricket world cup on the BBC not this mickey mouse stuff. The lines(wo)man for the England v Jocks game changed her time more times then erm, a women before raising her flag. Its dreadful.  

link; www.finesse-internet.co.uk/the-best-trip/ (THE BOOK THE CLUB REFUSED TO SELL). 

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essexgull

8980 posts
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#17
12/06/2019 at 11:57

I know, Garrrry old bean. I speak for this forum when I say 'can't we go back to the glory days of the late 1990s and early 2000s, when every pub was an Oirish theme or a Furlong and firkin with a giant Jenga set in the middle and you could just order a lager without it having to be a craft IPA that tastes of mango served in a thimble. No women's football, no excess of coffee shops, no transexual toilets and no Islamic issues.? '

ESSEX GULL  

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karlberg

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#18
12/06/2019 at 21:06

Quote Quote by essexgull on 12/06/2019 at 11:57
I know, Garrrry old bean. I speak for this forum when I say 'can't we go back to the glory days of the late 1990s and early 2000s, when every pub was an Oirish theme or a Furlong and firkin with a giant Jenga set in the middle and you could just order a lager without it having to be a craft IPA that tastes of mango served in a thimble. No women's football, no excess of coffee shops, no transexual toilets and no Islamic issues.? '

ESSEX GULL


1970's would do for me. No tinternet and proper pubs.  

link; www.finesse-internet.co.uk/the-best-trip/ (THE BOOK THE CLUB REFUSED TO SELL). 

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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#19
13/06/2019 at 13:48

They say the tv audience shows how far the women’s game has come along.

USA 13 v 0 Thailand.

Neither country has a men’s team or a competition much better than the County League. Seeing a keeper unable to catch anything in the air and taking goal kicks that reach half way - in their own half, are just a few easy examples of how poor it is. Not a problem unless you are selling it as Brazil v Italy 1970 World Cup Final, which they are.

Ying and yang though, for avid watchers like the Gullster, there is Gabby Logan to mentally undress. 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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KingstonKid

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#20
13/06/2019 at 14:12

ThaiWS 

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essexgull

8980 posts
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#21
13/06/2019 at 14:49

Quote Quote by karlberg on 12/06/2019 at 21:06


1970's would do for me. No tinternet and proper pubs.


Ale tasting like soapy dishwater with a 2.5% alcohol content, the acrid smell of potential violence and returning home at 11pm to die on the sofa of smoke inhalation from a chip pan fire, who wouldn't want to return to those times, Garry old bean!


ESSEX GULL  

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essexgull

8980 posts
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#22
13/06/2019 at 15:16

Quote Quote by RichardCheatham - City AFC on 13/06/2019 at 13:48
They say the tv audience shows how far the women’s game has come along.

USA 13 v 0 Thailand.

Neither country has a men’s team or a competition much better than the County League. Seeing a keeper unable to catch anything in the air and taking goal kicks that reach half way - in their own half, are just a few easy examples of how poor it is. Not a problem unless you are selling it as Brazil v Italy 1970 World Cup Final, which they are.

Ying and yang though, for avid watchers like the Gullster, there is Gabby Logan to mentally undress.


Is there any genetic proof that the Thai team were actually all women? Might have been a few ringers in there to make up the numbers. A few of their players brought back memories of an Asian trip in the mid 1990s, but let me assure you that there were far more than 13 balls emptied in the back of Thai nets on that tour. They were normally dancing round a pole, rather than taking a centre forward's legs from under him, err, her. And if any poster has a problem with this, I suggest they ring my employer and demand that I am dismissed immediately.

Logan used to live in my final resting place in London/Surrey, so would see her around walking a boxer dog. Attractive woman, but all that sport chat would bore me rigid. Not sure that I've ever been excited by a woman of Welsh extraction, could be mistaken. I'm in the final third of my actual beasting days, the era of mutually-accepted disappointment. Two pensioners trying to avoid ripping each other's papery skin and displacing a hip is the next stage, so I'll take a pass on her for now.

War in the Middle East on the horizon, half the world taking out their jealousy on the Brits via social media... Not our fault that 10,000 British soldiers and civil servants controlled half a billion Indians, the blame lies closer to home. I'm surprised that Jo Brand even is still a comedian, let alone in a public position to get noticed. How many period jokes can you make.


ESSEX GULL

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karlberg

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#23
13/06/2019 at 19:55

Quote Quote by essexgull on 13/06/2019 at 14:49


Ale tasting like soapy dishwater with a 2.5% alcohol content, the acrid smell of potential violence and returning home at 11pm to die on the sofa of smoke inhalation from a chip pan fire, who wouldn't want to return to those times, Garry old bean!


ESSEX GULL


You must have drank in the wrong places son, and who said we drank ale ? There were plenty of places open after 11.00 pm but you had to know where they were. Another plus was no SKY and no Premier League. To watch football live on a Saturday afternoon at 3.00 pm you had to make the effort to get to the ground and pay at the turnstiles, which was for nothing compared to todays inflated prices, and you could stand where you want. Better music too. 

Post edited on 13/06/2019 at 19:58 by karlberg

link; www.finesse-internet.co.uk/the-best-trip/ (THE BOOK THE CLUB REFUSED TO SELL). 

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essexgull

8980 posts
First used 12/01/17

#24
14/06/2019 at 15:31

Likes - rye whisky, religious architecture, wilderness, mountains, the sea, red wines, ciders, various crime procedural programmes, rugby union, sea fishing, hiking, cultural travel, moderately warm summers and cold winters, reading, resistance training, growing vegetables, Italian and Thai food, traditional English food, cheese, an occasional cigar, British countryside and market towns. English breakfasts, early mornings, making own firewood process from tree to fireplace.

Dislikes - craft ale, concerts/festivals, bread, Indian food, overtly homosexual behaviour, gobby women, the obese, news programmes, excessive social media usage, ethnic writers, marathon runners, Google experts, weather whiners, small talk with neighbours and acquaintances, Jeremy Clarkson car expert wannabes, impolite people, modern comedy, any form of performance art, men who have to compete conversationally over everything, hen-pecked males and anyone who says 'I have to check with the wife', shorts and flip flops in cities, London underground, dog owners who allow faeces to remain in the street, cycling,


ESSEX GULL  

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essexgull

8980 posts
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#25
15/06/2019 at 10:23

A few posters sliding into my DMs with further queries, so to clear them up and hopefully negate the reason for more questions, I shall answer publicly - open-minded, as a general rule of thumb, robust Italian and Spanish reds, pies and traditional meat-based dishes - roast dinners, game etc., Snowdonia a little touristy, so prefer Scottish highlands slightly off season, Welsh borders, Devon and Cornwall, it's a shorter growing season, so can't grow the Mediterranean beans and longer growth cycle veg, so mainly root veg, berries and tomatoes in the greenhouse, cathedral, roman buildings and others and no I don't see the hypocrisy, yeah egg, bacon, sausage, black pudding - all fried and if you've got a problem with it, happy to meet up face to face to discuss, usually a Cohiba Siglo V, but again, no expert so open to whatever, most English cheese. Don't like the crowds anymore, nor having to queue for a drink, overly greasy and spice heavy, detest the after taste and gives me indigestion, it's not the act of homosexuality, it's the necessity to flaunt it and talk about it endlessly, I haven't read a huge quantity, but find them overly whimsical, overly descriptive to the point of boredom and very samey and preachy. It's more men my age who go on about it and spend thousands on the gear, rather than the actual act of riding the bike.


ESSEX GULL 

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The Prince of Munster

8468 posts
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#26
16/06/2019 at 06:22

Quote Quote by essexgull on 15/06/2019 at 10:23
A few posters sliding into my DMs with further queries, so to clear them up and hopefully negate the reason for more questions, I shall answer publicly - open-minded, as a general rule of thumb, robust Italian and Spanish reds, pies and traditional meat-based dishes - roast dinners, game etc., Snowdonia a little touristy, so prefer Scottish highlands slightly off season, Welsh borders, Devon and Cornwall, it's a shorter growing season, so can't grow the Mediterranean beans and longer growth cycle veg, so mainly root veg, berries and tomatoes in the greenhouse, cathedral, roman buildings and others and no I don't see the hypocrisy, yeah egg, bacon, sausage, black pudding - all fried and if you've got a problem with it, happy to meet up face to face to discuss, usually a Cohiba Siglo V, but again, no expert so open to whatever, most English cheese. Don't like the crowds anymore, nor having to queue for a drink, overly greasy and spice heavy, detest the after taste and gives me indigestion, it's not the act of homosexuality, it's the necessity to flaunt it and talk about it endlessly, I haven't read a huge quantity, but find them overly whimsical, overly descriptive to the point of boredom and very samey and preachy. It's more men my age who go on about it and spend thousands on the gear, rather than the actual act of riding the bike.


ESSEX GULL


Thanks for the clarification, old bean 

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I'm an alligator...

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#27
22/06/2019 at 22:25

Just sampled the last minutes of Norway v Australia and I detect there may be a problem with the split arses' World Cup...
Yes!
You guessed!
This match is HIDEOUSLY White!
I mean, get on a fooking course, like... 

1964 - 2014 

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I'm an alligator...

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#28
22/06/2019 at 22:29

Quote Quote by essexgull on 15/06/2019 at 10:23
A few posters sliding into my DMs with further queries, so to clear them up and hopefully negate the reason for more questions, I shall answer publicly - open-minded, as a general rule of thumb, robust Italian and Spanish reds, pies and traditional meat-based dishes - roast dinners, game etc., Snowdonia a little touristy, so prefer Scottish highlands slightly off season, Welsh borders, Devon and Cornwall, it's a shorter growing season, so can't grow the Mediterranean beans and longer growth cycle veg, so mainly root veg, berries and tomatoes in the greenhouse, cathedral, roman buildings and others and no I don't see the hypocrisy, yeah egg, bacon, sausage, black pudding - all fried and if you've got a problem with it, happy to meet up face to face to discuss, usually a Cohiba Siglo V, but again, no expert so open to whatever, most English cheese. Don't like the crowds anymore, nor having to queue for a drink, overly greasy and spice heavy, detest the after taste and gives me indigestion, it's not the act of homosexuality, it's the necessity to flaunt it and talk about it endlessly, I haven't read a huge quantity, but find them overly whimsical, overly descriptive to the point of boredom and very samey and preachy. It's more men my age who go on about it and spend thousands on the gear, rather than the actual act of riding the bike.


ESSEX GULL


The bride stripped bare... 

Post edited on 22/06/2019 at 22:37 by I'm an alligator...

1964 - 2014 

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RichardCheatham - City AFC

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#29
26/06/2019 at 13:57

Have we won it yet? Is it coming home?

Can’t wait for the “Lionessessessessess surpass the England cricket team” tripe.

Neville out, Boothroyd in.

They say the u21s is good prep for the national team. Comical defending, late goals conceded and an expectation above reality pre tournament has certainly put these young chaps on the right course. 

Bunkers Hill - See you in the next life 

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I'm an alligator...

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#30
29/06/2019 at 19:00

Right!
That’s my lot!
That Swede just spat!

1964 - 2014 

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